time intrigues me.
sometimes it moves so fast
yet sometimes so slow.
even when it appears slow,
you turn around and look at what you haven't done
and realise how much time has slipped away
like sand through your fingers on the beach
or simply just sand through an hourglass.
but it's not as though i have little to do,
i live a busy life
where each moment of doing nothing is filled with thoughts of what i should be doing.
the worst days are ones which you know you have to do things
but however hard to try,
they somehow never get finished. or
sometimes they don't even get started.
they're the days when you're at home
feeling completly alone.
time doesn't exist in the same way
because theres nothing to relate time to.
on these days you
dress 'for comfort' because
you have no intention of being seen by anyone.
you put your music on shuffle and all the
saddest songs come on.
the alcohol cupboard looks far more inviting that usual
and no one is there to stop you
"just a little won't hurt anyone"
but how much is a little?
it reminds you of what family members
have said previous christmas times,
"she'll be an alcoholic by 18" they laugh
but is it really a joke?
scares me when that comes into my head
whilst various bottles smile at me.
then i look around the house for some chocolate
simply because people say it makes you feel better.
the more you eat, you realise you're probably not going to benefit from it
so you think of something else that'll cheer you up,
people.
reaching for the phone, you realise that nobody will be home
as they're probably spending theie time wisely
enjoying themselves.
"why aren't i doing the same?"
you may ask yourself.
"because there are things i should be doing."
is the answer.
or maybe it's because it's also one of those days
when one minute it feels like you've got everyone
and the next minute it feels like you've got no one.
we're all intitled to a day like this now and again
where we can feel sorry for ourselves, with
no interuptions to out thoughts,
however depressing the thoughts might be.
and whatever the next day brings,
it seems ten times better.
but then, you can feel it was a wasted day
and believe me,
life is too short for wasted time,
time is precious.
time travels faster than light.
things are changing too much
to hold on to the past.
so we're gonna have to accept
what is going to happen,
whatever it may be.
the future may bring the least expected.
so make the most of what you have now
in case tomorrow takes it away.
only plan if planning is part of the fun
because it may turn out differently
or simply never happen.
do things spontaneously
and remember that nothing lasts forever.
don't always
"leave the best 'till last"
in case it's past it's best.
don't forget that
nobody has the answers of the present,
or the questions of the future.
you cannot expect the unexpected
or count minutes from seconds,
by that i mean that
you cannot think ahead of yourself
because you don't know what lies ahead.
they say that life is what you make it,
but i'd say life is how others make it for you.
i think that we live off emotions.
how others feel determine how we feel.
especially the people who mean the most to us,
how they feel has a big impact on how we feel.
it's bad if they're happiness
brings you down,
and they're sorrow
gives you a content feeling of glee.
you want their radient glow to rub off on you.
and sadness to be shared,
if you let it.
make time for them,
and the bad follows the passing seconds.
but who wants happiness anyway?
being sad it so much more comforting
as you can't go down,
things can only go up
in a matter of time.
you want to be content,
the type of content that feels asthough
time has stopped ticking away.
because you don't want the future
and you don't want the past.
you're happy where you are.
that's the way to be.
keep this with you, remember
treat time like a friend, and
live a life of life.